We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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