didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
