Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
