is your mom at the bar?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
