I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We had sex on a dog bed..
So vagazzling was a success
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
