No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
