she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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