And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
