Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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