Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
All I want is dick and wine.
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