Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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