I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
