the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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