im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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