it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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