we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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