My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
