I think i peed on brittanys purse
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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