I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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