Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
