Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he fucked my hip out of place.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
my poor anus
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
