her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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