Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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