CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You pole danced in your parka.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
