She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize