She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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