i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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