Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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