Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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