Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize