I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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