Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
