Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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