Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
