if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize