you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
