omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
