Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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