I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
