Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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