He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
