I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize