You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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