THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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