its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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