I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
