dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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