Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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