bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
