Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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