No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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