apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
