I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
