tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
