You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My penis needs a shock collar
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
