She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
