I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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