Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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