WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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