i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
