Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
