i think my mom watched the whole time
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
