He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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