i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
